11th class
Brad Johnson’s English 81, 11th class
EXPLANATION OF YOUR OWN WRITING PATTERN
Increase your awareness of your patterns, your style of writing
Everyone has his/her own style of writing
Your own writing style is like a fingerprint. It is distinct; it has certain patterns
You have your own fingerprint.
Later on, when you turn in your paper having a different style, your teacher thinks that it is someone else’s paper
Using someone else’s paper can be traced to the website from where it came. You hurt yourself, can fail the class, or even getting dismis
Drafts
Look at your own patterns
Writing Packet, p. 8
Circle your topic in your topic sentence: “Traveling abroad has taught me to be kind.”
Topic: traveling topic
Underline Controlling idea: taught me to be kind
Goal: Have topic sentence be one line long NOT: I TRAVELED TO MANY COUNTRIES AND MET MANY PEOPLE WHO TAUGHT ME TO BE KIND – TOO LONG.
C/D: combine and delete: combine sentences and delete unnecessary words to make sentence more compelling, stronger, concise
“Being an athlete has impacted my life in very many ways.”
Paper should have 250-300 words
Sentence 2 “It has made me stronger, healthier, and an all around, better person.”
She is doing too much in this paper. This is just one paragraph:
“For example, it made me to be more responsible, focused, and more determined than ever to accomplish my goals. Ever since I became an athlete, I’ve learned that there’s a lot of responsibility. One of the responsibilities I have as an athlete is to be responsible for myself and only me. I have to watch what I do and who I hang around with because hanging with the wrong people can mess up my opportunities as an athlete. But it is more than that. It is also is being responsible inside the classroom. Taking care of my grades and doing my work. Being an athlete made me more aware of what I do. For example, it has made me focus in the classroom, so I will be able to get good grades. Getting good grades keeps me out of academic trouble when they decide to check on our GPA’s. But that isn’t the only reason since I am on an academic scholarship. It is necessary that I get the good grades to stay eligible for that. In conclusion, being an athlete has had a huge impact on my life because it has made me more responsible, more focused, and more determined to accomplish my goals.”
Key Word: Responsible: Being an athlete has made me more responsible. In this case, the writer has eliminated the second sentence
Put brackets around the first two words in every sentence in your draft.
1. helps you to see how long the sentences are
2. shows how many times you use the same word – how many times you start your sentences in the same way with the same words: it is, she did, it was, etc. Change this if you are starting sentence #1 in Writers Packet
Put a triangle around “it” or “you” – #2, p. 8 anywhere in your paper
Triangle “it” refers to the subject in another sentence. It is two letters long and is bad to use. Use another word that “it” refers to. Use a pronoun but use a different word for the one you used originally. Use a substitute. Eliminate at least two of the “its”.
Stop using contractions in your writing: it’s, you’re, won’t, didn’t. Use it is, you are, will not, did not.
Double underline your verbs, and single underline your subject
Many use the pronoun “you”. Stay with “I” or the name of the person referred to. Get rid of “you”.
Using geometric shapes helps you to know how many “it” repeats you have. This process helps you to break out of the pattern of this repetition. In the above paragraph main verbs are: has, made.
Circle “is” or “was” every time you use these, is are was were be been#6 in wirintg packet. This tells shows that you are using the “ verb form of being
HW: On your paper, total or add up all the “its” and forms of the “being” verb form: is, are, was, were, has. The verb forms of “is” are used too many times.
Eliminate as many of these verbs as you can
Make changes and bring back perfect, double-spaced, draft for tomorrow.
