Basic Negotiating Tips For BA 200 and 205 Law courses:
We all negotiate
in our personal and professional lives. We negotiate when we go to a
garage sale, or when we want to do something different at work, or when we are
dealing with members of the public.
Sometimes its easy to negotiate, but other times, when we have a great
deal at stake or we are upset, the task can be intimidating or difficult.
Here are some
tips (do’s and don’ts) to effective negotiating that can help you work more
effectively with your classmates, as well as future customers, co-workers, and
boss. They are also applicable to other interpersonal situations.
Overview of The
Negotiation Process
Negotiating is
the process by which two or more parties with different needs and goals (points of view) work to find a
mutually acceptable solution to an issue. Because negotiating is an
inter-personal process, each negotiating situation is different, and influenced
by each party's skills, attitudes and style. We often look at negotiating
as unpleasant, because it implies conflict, but negotiating need not be
characterized by bad feelings, or angry behavior.
Some Negotiation Tips
Solicit The Other's Perspective
In a negotiating situation
use questions to find out what the other person's concerns and needs might
be. Remember there are at least 2 sides (often more) to every story. You might try questions such as:
What do you
need from me on this?
What are
your concerns about what I am suggesting / asking?
When you hear the
other person express their needs or concerns, use listening responses to make
sure you heard correctly.
For example:
So, you are saying that you are worried that you will not have
enough time to complete your part of the project...Is that right?
If I have
this right, you want to make sure that the division of work on the project is
fair and takes into account other obligations?
State Your Needs
The other person
needs to know what you need. It is important to state not only what you
need but why you need it. Often disagreement may exist regarding the
method for solving an issue, but not about the overall goal. People are
sometimes goal driven, but not everyone has the same goal… some students may be
motivated to work hard to get the best grade, but others may want the best
grade for the least effort. (i.e. from their
perspective, they have may have “better things to do”, hopefully those other
things are valid!)..
For example:
I can’t
meet Tuesday due to a Dr. appointment. I want to
make sure I am healthy
so I can contribute better to the group effort..
Prepare Options Beforehand
Before
entering into a negotiating session, prepare some options that you can suggest
if your preferred solution is not acceptable. Anticipate why the other
person may resist your suggestion, and be prepared to counter with an
alternative.
Don't Argue
Negotiating is
about finding solutions...Arguing is about trying to prove the other person
wrong. We know that when negotiating turns into each party trying to
prove the other one wrong, no progress gets made. Don't waste time
arguing (organization/efficiency). If you disagree with something
state your disagreement in a gentle but assertive way. Don't demean the
other person or get into a power struggle. Above all, avoid any name
calling! This is the best way to create
resentment, and a failure of resolution…
Consider Timing
There are good
times to negotiate and bad times. Bad times include those situations
where there is:
. a high degree of anger on
either side
. preoccupation with something
else
. a high level of stress
. tiredness on one side or the
other
Time
negotiations to avoid these times.
If they arise during negotiations a time-out/rest period is in order, or
perhaps rescheduling to a better time.
Remember the Learning experience:
This class is
meant to be a learning experience. You will make mistakes, but if you can learn
from them, you will become a better person for it. The stakes are not that high here (although
grades may seem very important from some).
Try to put things in perspective and “choose your battles”
carefully…there are some things that just aren’t worth creating an issue to
negotiate. Do your “cost-benefit”
analysis before deciding what things are negotiable and what is not.
Barriers To Successful Negotiation:
Here are some things to avoid:
Negotiation need not be confrontational. In
fact, effective negotiation is characterized by the parties working together to
find a solution, rather than each party trying to WIN a contest of wills.
Keep in mind that the attitude that you take in negotiation (eg. hostile, cooperative) will set the tone for the
interaction. If you are confrontational, you will have a fight on your
hands.
Trying To Win At All Costs
If you
"win" there must be a loser, and that can create more difficulty down
the road. The best perspective in negotiation is to try to find a
solution where both parties "win". Try not to view
negotiation as a contest that must be won.
Becoming overly Emotional
It's normal to
become emotional during negotiation that is important. However, as we get
more emotional, we are less able to channel our negotiating behavior in
constructive ways. It is important to maintain control. Take a break
from discussions if necessary to regain your composure!
Not Trying To Understand The Other Person
Since we are
trying to find a solution acceptable to both parties, we need to understand the
other person's needs, and wants with respect to the issue (point of view).
If we don't know what the person needs or wants, we will be unable to negotiate
properly. Often, when we take the time to find out about the other
person, we discover that there is no significant disagreement.
Focusing On Personalities, Not Issues
All of us
sometimes have a tendency to get off track by focusing on how difficult a
person may seems. Once this happens, effective
negotiation is impossible. It is important to stick to the issues, and
put aside our degree of like or dislike for an individual. Usually we find
through discussion that the other party wants most of the same things we
do……Look for the win-win!
Blaming The Other Person
In any conflict
or negotiation, each party contributes, for better or worse. If you blame
the other person for the difficulty you will create an angry situation. If
you take responsibility for the problem, you will create a spirit of
cooperation. This will require a degree of self
reflection before going into a negotiation (consider reviewing the “blue
book” for this. No one has a complete
handle on the truth, we all share a piece of it! Remember that “Truth” is a tentative,
relative, understanding through hypothesis.
(personal quote).
Conclusion
Negotiating is a
complex process, but one worth mastering. If you keep in mind that you
are responsible for the success or failure of negotiation, and if you follow
the tips above, you will find the process easier. In addition, you will also have developed a
valuable skill that will be useful throughout your entire life!
Have fun in
learning this important skill!