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CONFLICT RESOLUTION UNIT

"Our attitudes toward conflict determines our success"

NARRATIVE:

Effective conflict resolution skills can empower you to build mutually beneficial relationships and can be used in your personal and professional circles. Focus on five key principles whenever you are involved in a conflict resolution situation:

*I encourage you to study the principles and concepts presented here as you will need to demonstrate your comprehension of them on your exam.

FIVE KEY PRINCIPLES TO CONFLICT RESOLUTION:

Don’t approach the conflict expecting an apology

Try to keep in mind the long term relationship

Use "I" statements

Conflict resolution and relationship building go hand in hand

You must move from positions to needs

I want to present eight steps to effective conflict resolution that you can use in both your professional and personal circles.

Step 1: CREATE AN EFFECTIVE ATMOSPHERE:

Ask the Other Person’s Permission to Problem Solve – don’t just barge into their space and start venting.

Personal Preparation – do all you can to ready yourself in positive ways to approach issues honestly and openly.

Timing – Choose a time that is best for all parties involved. A time in which no one is feeling pressed to move on or pressured in other ways.

Location – Where you meet is as important as when you meet. Pick a place that is neutral to all parties.

Opening Statements – Try to start out on a good note. Let others know you are ready and willing to approach conflict with a team-like attitude that focuses on positive ends.

 

Step 2: CLARIFY PERCEPTIONS:

Sort the Parts – If you’re the one receiving feedback, ask questions to determine what the conflict is about. If you’re the one giving the feedback, be clear in what your perception is.

Avoid Ghost Conflicts – Get to the heart of the matter and avoid side issues.

Avoid Stereotyping or Using All Inclusive Language – Be careful not to use words such as "always" or "never" – these are rarely true and breeds hostility.

Step 3: FIND A COMMON NEED:

Keep the dialogue going so you can identify a common need. Once you reach a common ground, it is much easier to move forward in negotiating how to each meet that common ground.

Step 4: SET ASIDE ALL JUDGMENT WHILE YOU’RE LISTENING:

Try to hear beyond the anger and instead focus on their "piece of the truth."

Step 5: BE WILLING TO ADMIT YOUR OWN MISTAKES:

No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. Be willing to take ownership of poor judgment or actions on your part. Again, try to see it from the other person’s perspective – one’s perception becomes their reality!

Step 6: FOCUS ON THE PRESENT SITUATION:

Don’t bring up past conflicts – if you didn’t address them then it is too late now. It is your responsibility to initiate conflict resolution when needed. Don’t gunnysack it all and then erupt!

Step 7: GENERATE OPTIONS:

Make sure options work for everyone involved – if they don’t, you could be creating spin-off conflicts.

Options should meet the shared need

Write them down and predict possible outcomes

Develop "Doables" – Stepping Stones to Action – Doables are specific actions that have a good chance of being successful. Doables need to be:

C Steps that never promote unfair advantages on any sides

C Trust builders

C Actions that meet shared needs

Step 8: MAKE MUTUALLY BENEFICIAL AGREEMENTS:

Avoid Demands – instead focus on developing agreements that work for all parties involved

Pay Attention to the Needs of the Other Person – each person must move from their opening position in order to have equitable conflict resolution

Clarify What is Expected – be clear in what the expectations are of each of you

Follow Up – Check in with each other in a week or two for a progress report on your relationship. Nip any "floater" concerns quickly!

Again, I encourage you to study and commit to memory the principles and effective steps to resolving conflict as presented here. You will be tested on this information. Now – I’d like you to open the file, "Conflict Resolution Questionnaire"  to help you determine how you deal with conflict…